Embrace All-Hallows Eve and see your kids grow

Ok, I’ll admit Halloween is a fun time of year. Around here it’s more about the girls since it’s not particularly my favorite holiday, but I do enjoy watching them create and enjoy their own festivities. I at least can embrace Halloween for what it gives to them, and inadvertently gives me as well.

Halloween is about death, and letting go, which has to happen in order for there to be renewals (Like spring….) I have to let go in order for them to really blossom. I also have to recognize (and celebrate) how far they have come. Halloween in our family has always been a holiday that I leave them space for their own creativity. It happens slowly in the case of children growing up, but one stage has to end in order to see the great things that can come in the next stage. I have taken to embracing Halloween in this context of peeking into the next stage and seeing what could be.

My girls have always made their own costumes. If they weren’t able to make it they at least designed them and I’d just help with execution. They often found inspiration in thrift stores. Around this time of year I always made a point of leaving a bit of space in the budget to make a few stops at the local thrift stores. Not just some little $.10 plastic trinket in a bin of toys, something like a dress or cape hanging in the formal dress area, or “witch” shoes were all good finds. Around here something warm that worked with their costume was always on the list.

Middle girl, being the culinary arts kid, heads up the food. She’s also the one who seems to enjoy this season’s dark festivities the most. She goes light and fun with the food thankfully. I could see her penchant for horror turning the food less than kid friendly if she wanted to. She saves the gore for her birthday cake though. She always comes up with something good for the food- flavor is just as important as how it looks. Being quick to eat is also high on the list. One of my favorites was pumpkin shaped tortilla pizzas decorated like a jack-o-lantern with pumpkin shaped carrots as eyes.

We have always gone out for Halloween. When they were little though we lived in town and there was always a group. I have to admit I repeated to myself many times “it’s one night, you can handle it for a couple hours. I didn’t love taking enough children out on a chaos filled evening after dark to outnumber me. My husband worked nights and him having Halloween night off was pretty hit or miss through the years. I did want to embrace Halloween for them though. One stop I did always make sure happened when they were small was the local elderly housing units. I felt better about the mayhem then because the girls knocking on their doors and greeting them happily made their nights. In recent years we have volunteered and hosted a trunk at the local trunk or treat.

The younger two seem to get into the decorating more than Eldest. They always get a kick out of the spiders. Probably because I really hate spiders! Scaring mom is fun I’m sure… Lol! Eldest goes a bit fanciful while Middle girl always enjoys skulls and blood. Youngest goes with whatever mood strikes her in the moment.

I just sit back now and let them enjoy it in their own ways. This holiday doesn’t bring in any pressures or expectations with it. It’s unique in that. My girls are a bit older now, but even when they were little it was a celebration of them expressing themselves and I will always embrace that with open arms. For many years I’ve let them run just a bit further than I might be comfortable with when we are out too, but I’m always there to hold their hands if they find themselves unsure. (Ok, Youngest is 15 and has two elder sisters, no one has come for me to hold their hand for at least a couple years.)

I hope you get to embrace the holiday this season for whatever it is for you. Let your kids roam a bit. Encourage them to speak for themselves. Remember these are things you can enjoy for yourself too. Get out on the town or have a night in with all the scary movies. Have fun, and embrace whatever it is that you need in this Halloween while allowing your family the same!